Whatever the hell happened?

Good question!

It makes me wonder when I re-read some of these posts of mine what happened to the girl who was always giggling and who enjoyed everything she did.

When did I turn into a bitter, self-pitying crone?

Can that really be me?

I’d like to think not, but the evidence presented doesn’t exactly refute it..

You know, I can recall a time when I could make people laugh till they cried with my daft impressions or my silly humour. I remember laughing so much that my sides would hurt. I was always laughing.

Now I find it difficult to recall the last time I laughed. Not just a polite chuckle, but a real side aching belly laugh. What the hell happened between then and now to stop that hilarity? Does everyone lose the capacity for joy when they get older? Or is it just me?

Oh, I still experience moments of sheer pleasure – when I’ve toiled up a steep hill and stop to look at the magnificent view; when friends’ children are playing or learning to talk; when my dog comes bounding up to me tail wagging; when I read something special; when I achieve something; when I see random acts of kindness… all of these things fill me with pleasure. But nothing makes me want to laugh with such abandon that I feel like a child again.

Why have I become so serious?

What the hell did happen to make me forget that it’s possible to laugh…..


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