Today I am still reflecting on self respect, but in a different way. Now it’s all about where I draw the line between being a good listener and condoning bitching about other people.
Can I be a listening ear to people who just want to complain about their colleagues? I admit I am finding it very trying. I know that what I should be saying is ‘why don’t you talk to soandso about this’ when someone is in the throes of bitching about soandso. But it’s so easy to get dragged into the nodding and agreeing thing.
It’s also completely possible to like people yet see their faults when they are pointed out.
I’ve been landed with some gossip today about a colleague who has apparently split up with his fiancee. Now I know from past experience that this colleague has been violent towards his previous partners. Quite badly so at times. so when I hear the gossip, I am ready to believe that he has reverted to type. But I’m also getting the story from someone closely involved who says she now feels intimidated by said colleague in case he holds her partly responsible for the break up.
As a manager, of course I have to make sure my employee feels safe at work, so I tell her to make sure she is not on her own with the male colleague when he returns to work tomorrow. I am on holiday, so won’t be here to look out for her. Therefore I tell another manager who will be here so he can watch out for any bad behaviour. Now I’ve spread the gossip a bit further….
Ah well, lunch time over. I’d best get back to it as I have a lot to finish before going off tomorrow. All I need is someone to help me wind down from this shit after work; a hug to reassure me that all is well. No feckin chance of that. Mind you, with my self respect at such a low ebb, why would anyone in their right mind want to comfort me?
Barbara Murray Art 