Several things have happened over the last few weeks that have made me think about the meaning of friendship.
And what it has made me realise is that being a friend is what I am really good at. Ok I’m quite good at a couple other other things, like drawing, computers,etc. but the thing I am really good at is being a good friend.
The first thing tha happened was a trip away with two friends who are both going through some tough times. And over the weekend they both talked through their problems with me and I listened, advised if necessary, but mostly listened. And at the end of the trip, one of them gave me a huge hug and said that she felt so much calmer after talking to me and that I had helped her so much to think clearly about what she should do. It was like she’d given me a million quid!
The next thing was concerning a man at work who is a good friend. He has been going through hell at work and I’ve been letting him talk aboutbthebissues for weeks and weeks. He talks, I let him and listen. He’s talked, shouted and even cried in my office, but I was there when he needed me to be. When he decided enough was enough, I talked through the options with him and he left the company. The only person he contacted after he left was me, to tell me how grateful he was for my friendship and how he would never have got through it all without my support. I felt quite humble.
Some of you reading this will know that I have lost my way a bit over the last few years. And the depression I was in caused me to seek the help of counsellors. I’ve seen three in all! Not every counsellor is right for you…. But the last one was absolutely lovely. She helped me so much and on my last visit, she tole me that she wished we didn’t have the counsellor/client relationship. I was a bit shocked, until she clarified what she meant. She said that it’s not ethical for us to be friends after counselling, but she wished we’d met under different circumstances because I was someone who would make a wonderful friend. Then she said I would make a good counsellor, which is strangely what the previous counsellor also said. She added that she could see me with my own practice doing counselling a therapy…
The combination of these things has made me realise who i am again, and what my future is going to be. I am going to make more friends and I am going to enjoy them. Celebrate them! That’s who I am – a good friend, loyal and true. Someone who would never divulge a confidence, who is always ready to listen, help and support. And it makes me happy to do that. The idea of training to be a counsellor is very appealing too. I like my current job and I’m quite good at it, but how worthwhile would it be to actually help people? Maybe even change somebody’s life for the better… Now that would be rewarding.
Talking of friends, one of them bought me a fifty shades book. Now that’s not something I would usually read. I’m not into chick lit as a rule, in fact I’ve never been a girlie girl – more of a tomboy actually. I have more male friends than female and at work I’m one of the lads!
But I feel I will have to read it, if only to find out why the books are so popular! It’s been sitting by my bedside for a couple of weeks while I read other books, but tonight’s the night – I’m going in! You never know it may just be good. and anyway, you have to try everything at least once, don’t you?
So goodnight friends. If ever you need a shoulder, you know where I am….